


Compatible Weirdness

by bob2ff



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Friendship, Friendship/Love, Humor, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-11 17:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3331955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bob2ff/pseuds/bob2ff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes a while, but eventually Levi and Hange wear each other down enough to form a friendship. Set after A Choice of No Regrets, pre-canon timeline. Can be read as pre-romance if you wish.</p><p>Credit for title goes to Dr Seuss' wonderful quote about love: We're all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it 'love'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Compatible Weirdness

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Levi’s swearing and Hange’s double entendres.

When he looked back on the years of their friendship, Levi could not have suspected that he would have voluntarily chosen Hange Zoe to become one of his closest friends. If he had to place what led them to where they were now, however, the moments stood out bright and clear in his mind, clearly outlined like ships on a horizon, lit up from the light of distant lighthouses. 

In the first few months after Levi joined Captain Erwin’s team, Hange almost refused to leave him alone.

It started with the random visits, that occurred even during expeditions.

“What are you doing?”

Levi looked up and frowned. “Shoes off when you’re in here!” He snapped, voice muffled through his face mask.

Hange stared. “But we’re in a _tent_.”

Levi narrowed his eyes at her. Raising her hands in surrender, she gingerly took off her shoes, when – “Wait.” Levi eyed her suspiciously. “Stay outside, you’re disgustingly dirty.” 

Hange waggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Isn’t _that_ the way you like –” she was cut off as she dodged a towel.

“What do you want?” Levi demanded, pushing her out, trying to use as little contact as possible, even if his hands were gloved.

“Erwin wants to speak to you,” Hange said. “Are you _cleaning_? Your _tent_? Isn’t that kind of pointless? We _are_ out in the wilderness. There’s dirt everywhere.” 

“This place is filthy. Is there a problem with that?” Levi turned his back on her and continued dusting. “Erwin can wait until I’m done polishing the tent poles.”

“Are you _sure_ you want me to say that to Erwin? ‘Polishing your pole’ isn’t something people generally want to be publicly known –” Hange was cut off again, this time when Levi pounced on her, stuffing a cloth in her mouth. 

“Fucking hell!” Levi snapped. Hange was surprising agile, however, and slipped out of his grasp easily, spitting out the cloth.

“Your mouth isn’t any cleaner than mine,” she pointed out, sweetly. Flashing him a smile, she slipped out of the tent.

Levi was left staring blankly. 

Then he heard her yell, “Yo captain! Levi’s too busy polishing his pole to talk to you!”

***

“Four-eyes, what the hell are you doing here? You’re not even on Erwin’s team.” Levi frowned, staring at Hange. He attempted to saddle his horse faster – maybe he could get away from her and ride further away from her.

“I volunteered! If I beg him enough, someday Erwin will let me capture a live titan,” Hange winked at him.

“You’re fucking crazy,” Levi declared. “Don’t expect me to save your sorry ass if you need it.”

“Hey! Can you teach me how to move the way you do on the 3DMG? The way you hold those blades and all?”

Levi resisted smacking himself on the face. Talking to Hange was always a surreal experience – her mind moved so quickly she jumped from topic to topic before a proper conversation could ever occur. 

“I’ve already told you – no. Every one here’s shitty at it, but you’re the shittiest of them all.”

Hange whacked him on the back, almost sending him face first into his horse’s torso. “You’re such a good guy, Levi.”

Levi sputtered, gaping at her. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Hange smiled, patting Levi’s horse. “Your horse looks really well. You’ve really been taking care of him, haven’t you?” 

Levi shook his head resignedly. “Just go away already. And you stink.”

Hange smirked. “That’s because I spray perfume that smells like crap, just for you, Levi.”

Levi gaped. That was another problem with Hange – he could never tell if she was really joking or not.

She patted him on the back again before turning to leave. 

“You should consider training the new recruits when you retire, Levi. You really understand the 3DMG. There isn’t a single style for everyone, and you seem to get that most of all.” She gave him another smile over her shoulder.

Levi stared at her, before shaking his head. He _really_ did not get her.

***

Sometimes, Levi suspected Erwin encouraged Hange’s overenthusiastic attempts to get to know him. It was the only explanation for the sudden one-on-one meeting he scheduled for the two of them in the vast, useless conference room the Survey Corps used sometimes to give briefings to their rapidly dwindling troops when they were back within the walls.

“So, Levi. You want to know about titans.” 

Levi felt disconcerted at the slightly maniacal smile spreading across Hange’s face.

“No. Erwin told me to ask you to give me a routine medical check-up.” He crossed his arms and stepped a few paces away from her. A little more distance to add to the ten-foot conference table that already separated them wouldn’t hurt.

Hange laughed. “You look fine!”

Levi frowned. “How would you know from all the way over there – _and_  you wear those shitty glasses.”

Hange shrugged. “Well, there _are_ some studies indicating shorter people live longer...” 

Levi slammed a fist on his own palm, interrupting her. “Shitty glasses. That’s right. That’s what I’ll call you. Because you wear glasses. And you’re shitty.” 

Hange raised her eyebrows at him. Making a show of it, she raised her glasses onto her head. “Wow, Levi. That’s amazingly original. I’m in awe at your eloquence.” 

“Just do what you’re supposed to do, Shitty Glasses. I have a lot of other crap to do instead of standing here listening to your shit.” 

“You’re really obsessed with poop, aren’t you.” Hange suddenly brightened, then took out a notebook.

“What the fuck is that?” Levi narrowed his eyes, trying to see from across the long-ass table 

“It’s the notebook I use to study you.” Hange was writing in it diligently.

“What the fuck?” Levi repeated. He started approaching her. “Give me that!”

Hange backed away. “You like to clean. You swear a lot. You’re obsessed with poop.” She started listing it out.

“What the fuck are you talking about? You’re making even less sense than usual. Just give me the fucking notebook.”

“You like horses.” 

Levi stopped, staring at her. He had moved so quickly he was now barely five paces from her. Hange was looking at him, her eyes intent and focused. Sincerity and understanding radiated from her.

Levi crossed his arms, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. He felt trapped, like the walls he had put up around himself were closing in. And Hange, with them.

“You’re fucking creepy, you know that.” He declared, inwardly cringing at the scratchy quality of his voice.

Hange only smiled, in that smile Levi was only now realizing she always used around him. A smile that was simultaneously wistful yet searching for connection, with him. “You use insults when you’re trying to say something important.” 

Levi opened his mouth, but could not find anything to say. “...damn you.”

“Can I hug you?” Hange stepped closer.

Levi raised his arms in defence. “No fucking way. You stink.” 

“But we just had a moment! Erwin would be so proud!” Hange exclaimed.

“Not until you’ve showered three times and sterilized all your clothes.” Taking advantage of her outstretched arms, Levi grabbed the notebook from Hange. 

“Hey, that’s mine!” Levi easily sidestepped Hange’s lunge towards him.

“Next time you want to know something, just ask me, Shitty Glasses.” He quirked his lips ever so slightly in a wry almost-smile. “You can save your time for the other shitty things you do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: I know there’s always a lot of debate going on about Hange’s gender, and I respect Isayama’s decision to leave it up to reader interpretation. I also respect anybody’s opinion regardless of what they perceive Hange’s gender as. For me, personally, I watched the anime before reading the manga, so since then it’s been unfortunately decided for me – I can’t help but think of her as a female from the anime portrayal. So I’ve written Hange as such – I don’t mean to offend anyone, that’s just how I’ve ended up perceiving the character. 
> 
> First SnK piece, so any constructive comments are much appreciated! =) Considering making this multi-chap as inspiration strikes.


End file.
